Why does someone need a life coach?

celebrate growth lifecoach supportsystem Sep 08, 2021

As we go through life, things change around us almost every day. Sometimes it's a good change, and other times it can be something horrible that makes your life change dramatically. When these changes happen, we need to talk to someone about them. This could be family, friends, colleges, etc. Unfortunately, as much as we speak to the people around us, they can't always hold us accountable for the personal challenges we aspire to achieve. A life coach can! You are probably thinking to yourself, is a life coach going to help me? Why do I need a life coach?

 

This is a great example from this blog, Who Hires a Life Coach Anyways? The Answers May Surprise You. Think of it like this: If you had a broken tooth, would you ask your neighbor to grab some pliers and yank it out? After all, that's pretty much what the dentist will do for $500. Right?

Life coaches have techniques that a lot of us don't always have. Life coaches are trained to set aside their own emotions like wants, needs, opinions, and advice to ensure another person achieves their revelations.

 

What coaching is and is not

Many people wonder what the difference is between a life coach and a therapist. Therapy is more for healing, while a life coach is to help with setting goals and using the right tools for the situations you may have to deal with at some point. Here is a list of what life coaching is and is not from the blog stated above:

 

Coaching is:                                                                                 Coaching is not:

Client Led                                                                                      Therapy

Future-focused                                                                             Past-focused

Goal Setting                                                                                   Managing 

Joyful                                                                                               Judgement

Accountability                                                                               Giving advice 

Asking questions                                                                          Telling what to do

Strengths focused                                                                        Shaming 

 

Reasons why people might hire a life coach

There can be a variety of reasons why someone would hire a life coach. Maybe it's because they want to work on their love life, they are grieving over a loss of a person, they have a goal they have been trying to achieve for years and can't seem to complete it, the list goes on. Having your reason, no matter how big or small or how important it is to you compared to someone, is the only thing that matters. Some of the common reasons someone uses a life coach, which may relate to you are:

  • Career advancement 
  • Health and fitness goal attainment 
  • International life design
  • Rebuilding after a breakup or divorce 
  • Launching a new business 
  • Establishing clarity around life vision and goals 
  • Accountability in achieving a goal
  • Improving relationships (family, friends, significant others)

 

You should hire a life coach if:

You struggle to follow through on goals. There are many things we want to accomplish in our lives, but sometimes we don't know how or how to manage our time to achieve these goals. Another reason is you don't know where to start. Figuring out where to start can be confusing and intimidating. The third reason is you get in your own way. Most of the time, our self-talk is what holds us down. Telling ourselves, we can't do something when we can, or we haven't even tried. The fourth reason is anxiety and stress are getting the best of you. We as humans are on a fast-paced lifestyle, trying to get more tasks done in one day than what can be accomplished. We all, at times, need to take a step back and think, if I don't get this done today, what's the worst that can happen? The last reason you should hire a life coach is you're feeling less engaged in life. Sometimes you forget what you are passionate about due to life being so hectic. Take the time to figure out what makes you happy and not just others. 

 

If you can relate to any of this, as most of us can, you should talk to me! If you click on sessions next to the blog section you are reading right now, you can set up a time to speak with me! I would suggest starting with a "Getting to know you" session to see if we work well together. 

-Ann

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                                                     What is Mindset?

Could what you believe about yourself impact your success or failure? According to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, Author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, beliefs play a pivotal role in what you want and whether you achieve it.

Dweck has found that it is your mindset that plays a significant role in determining achievement and success. So, what exactly is a mindset?

Mindset Definition:

The established set of attitudes held by someone.

There are two different types of mindset:

People with a fixed mindset believe that these qualities are inborn, fixed, and unchangeable.

Those with a growth mindset, on the other hand, believe that these abilities can be developed and strengthened by way of commitment and hard work.

                                           

                                               What Is Your Mindset?

Do you have a fixed or growth mindset? To find out, start by reading the following statements and decide which ones you agree with most:

 

  • People have a certain amount of intelligence, and there isn't any way to change it.
  • No matter who you are, there isn't much you can do to improve your basic abilities and personality.
  • People are capable of changing who they are.
  • You can learn new things and improve your intelligence.
  • People either have particular talents, or they don't. You can't just acquire talent for things like music, writing, art, or athletics.
  • Studying, working hard, and practicing new skills are all ways to develop new talents and abilities.

If you tend to agree with statements 1, 2, and 5, then you probably have a more fixed mindset. If you agree with statements 3, and 4, 6, however, then you probably tend to have a growth mindset.

                                      

                                        Can You Change Your Mindset?

While people with a fixed mindset might not agree, Dweck suggests that people are capable of changing their mindsets. Parents can also take steps to ensure that their children develop growth mindsets, often through praising efforts rather than focusing solely on results.

 

For example, instead of telling a child that he is "so smart," a parent might commend the child for their hard work on a project and describe what they like the most about the child's efforts ("I really like how you chose the colors for that picture!").

 

By focusing on the process rather than the outcome, adults can help kids understand that their efforts, hard work, and dedication can lead to change, learning, and growth both now and in the future.

Remember that your fixed mindset persona was born to protect you and keep you safe, according to Dweck. But it has developed some very limiting ways of doing that. So, educate it in the new growth mindset ways that it can support you: in taking on challenges and sticking to them, bouncing back from failure, and helping and supporting others to grow.

                           

 

I’m a strong believer in therapy, mentoring and coaching both giving and receiving. I remember when I started therapy and/or coaching it was an exciting and scary time. It was the right direction for the next level of self- growth but my fear was speaking to me, big time.

                                                      

                                                        Fixed Mindset       

What happens if I can’t do this? Will I be able to change? What if it doesn’t work?

See where my mind was taking me, not to a good place. FEAR!

                                                       Growth Mindset

I realized that I needed the right mindset for the process to be successful.

I found a cozy comfortable area with journal in hand, relaxed then took a few deep breathes to center myself and asked the question:

What does my FEAR look and feel like when I think about therapy and/or coaching?

Any excuse to stop the process

Lack of money and time

Problem too hard to face

Anxiety residing in my body, shallow breathing, body pains etc.

What would people think?

I would look weak

Embarrassment

Self-doubt

Therapy is for other people!

It’s too hard!

 

 

When I felt overwhelmed in the therapy/coaching process it was an indicator that I was off. I went directly to my list and would see the reason and immediately laugh at myself in a loving way, pause, take deep breaths and then do a reset!

I go to my toolbox of skills and use the ones that resonate with me. Affirmations are my go-to and are hanging on my walls. I give myself a daily pep talk to keep me focused and these are just some of the simple, yet effective tools!

Remember why I was doing therapy or coaching and reflect on how well it was going, even when it was difficult, and be proud of myself for doing the work. Growth Mindset!

Everyone and I mean everyone, needs some sort of help from another, we don’t do life successfully on our own, humans are not built to function in that way.

                            Everyone one of us had a journey to take.

  • It starts by accepting that we have both mindsets.
  • Then we need to learn to recognize what triggers our fixed mindset.

Failures? Criticism? Deadlines? Disagreements?

  • And we come to understand what happens to us when our fixed-mindset “persona” is triggered.
  • Importantly, we can gradually learn to remain in a growth mindset place despite the triggers

 

Coaching is no different!

You’re reading this which means you would like to change an area in your life and need some assistance in doing so, bravo for you! Together we will have a conversation that will take you to new places in your life. Let me help you uncover the mindset needed for this journey.

 

Ann