Six Myths About Life Coaches

life coach myths personal growth Jan 31, 2022

After writing a blog, Why Does Someone Need a Life Coach? I thought it would be appropriate to have a blog called, Six Myths About Life Coaches. 

 I'm sure if you search on a web browser "myths about life coaches," you would find a bunch of information and articles, but some of the main ones that stuck with me are these six below. 

 Based on a post I found called Life Coaching Myths, here are a few of the main myths:

 

  1. Life Coaches have a perfect life
  2. Coaching is only for people who have problems 
  3. Life coaches tell their clients what to do
  4. Life coaching is expensive 
  5. You have to know what you want before you hire a life coach
  6. You have to be feeling "stuck" to need a life coach

 

Myth #1: Life coaches have a perfect life

Whether you are a life coach, a mom, a chef, a bank teller, or anything else, I can guarantee that no one's life is perfect, and no individual is perfect. There is no such thing as perfect in this world. Life is about progress, not perfection. Why aim for a goal that absolutely no one in this world can achieve. Myth is gone. 

 

Myth #2: Coaching is only for people who have problems 

Times have changed in this world! People don't just have a life coach because someone couldn't succeed in life; people have life coaches nowadays to have someone to hold them accountable, reach future goals, and have someone who will empower them and someone who believes in them when they sometimes won't. Myth: Destroyed. 

 

Myth #3: Life coaches tell their clients what to do

We are not here as life coaches telling our clients what to do. When you coach someone, it is not cookie-cutter; give instructions to someone. Being a life coach is helping people explore what someone wants and give ideas so people can then make that choice on their own. The main point is to help someone reach a goal. There goes another myth. 

 

Myth #4: Life coaching is expensive 

Not all life coaches charge as much as you think, and you probably spend more on groceries a month for your family than you would having a session with me. Sometimes you have to think to yourself, "will this better me and my life"? When you achieve your goals and start living the life you want, I'm sure you'll agree that money was well spent. Myth crushed!

 

Myth #5: You have to know what you want before you hire a life coach 

You don't need to know precisely what you want before hiring a life coach. Still, you as an individual may realize you don't want life to continue the way it is right now, and that's a start! Through life coaching, you can gain what you want and start to have the life you want. The myths are dropping like flies! 

 

 

Myth #6: You have to be feeling "stuck" to need a life coach  

You shouldn't have to wait to feel stuck to get help or direction then. Just like from the post, Life Coaching Myths, "you don't have to wait to be overweight or completely unfit before you get a personal trainer." It doesn't matter where you start on your journey or where you want to end up. Life coaching can help you get to the next point. Myth obliterated. 

 

I hope after reading this, it has given you new insight into what life coaches are here for and how they can benefit people in so many ways. Take some time and think about your life and all the success and goals you have accomplished. If you need help from someone or need someone to talk to, do it! It will only help you, not hurt you! You are never "weak" for asking or taking the initiative.

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                                                     What is Mindset?

Could what you believe about yourself impact your success or failure? According to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, Author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, beliefs play a pivotal role in what you want and whether you achieve it.

Dweck has found that it is your mindset that plays a significant role in determining achievement and success. So, what exactly is a mindset?

Mindset Definition:

The established set of attitudes held by someone.

There are two different types of mindset:

People with a fixed mindset believe that these qualities are inborn, fixed, and unchangeable.

Those with a growth mindset, on the other hand, believe that these abilities can be developed and strengthened by way of commitment and hard work.

                                           

                                               What Is Your Mindset?

Do you have a fixed or growth mindset? To find out, start by reading the following statements and decide which ones you agree with most:

 

  • People have a certain amount of intelligence, and there isn't any way to change it.
  • No matter who you are, there isn't much you can do to improve your basic abilities and personality.
  • People are capable of changing who they are.
  • You can learn new things and improve your intelligence.
  • People either have particular talents, or they don't. You can't just acquire talent for things like music, writing, art, or athletics.
  • Studying, working hard, and practicing new skills are all ways to develop new talents and abilities.

If you tend to agree with statements 1, 2, and 5, then you probably have a more fixed mindset. If you agree with statements 3, and 4, 6, however, then you probably tend to have a growth mindset.

                                      

                                        Can You Change Your Mindset?

While people with a fixed mindset might not agree, Dweck suggests that people are capable of changing their mindsets. Parents can also take steps to ensure that their children develop growth mindsets, often through praising efforts rather than focusing solely on results.

 

For example, instead of telling a child that he is "so smart," a parent might commend the child for their hard work on a project and describe what they like the most about the child's efforts ("I really like how you chose the colors for that picture!").

 

By focusing on the process rather than the outcome, adults can help kids understand that their efforts, hard work, and dedication can lead to change, learning, and growth both now and in the future.

Remember that your fixed mindset persona was born to protect you and keep you safe, according to Dweck. But it has developed some very limiting ways of doing that. So, educate it in the new growth mindset ways that it can support you: in taking on challenges and sticking to them, bouncing back from failure, and helping and supporting others to grow.

                           

 

I’m a strong believer in therapy, mentoring and coaching both giving and receiving. I remember when I started therapy and/or coaching it was an exciting and scary time. It was the right direction for the next level of self- growth but my fear was speaking to me, big time.

                                                      

                                                        Fixed Mindset       

What happens if I can’t do this? Will I be able to change? What if it doesn’t work?

See where my mind was taking me, not to a good place. FEAR!

                                                       Growth Mindset

I realized that I needed the right mindset for the process to be successful.

I found a cozy comfortable area with journal in hand, relaxed then took a few deep breathes to center myself and asked the question:

What does my FEAR look and feel like when I think about therapy and/or coaching?

Any excuse to stop the process

Lack of money and time

Problem too hard to face

Anxiety residing in my body, shallow breathing, body pains etc.

What would people think?

I would look weak

Embarrassment

Self-doubt

Therapy is for other people!

It’s too hard!

 

 

When I felt overwhelmed in the therapy/coaching process it was an indicator that I was off. I went directly to my list and would see the reason and immediately laugh at myself in a loving way, pause, take deep breaths and then do a reset!

I go to my toolbox of skills and use the ones that resonate with me. Affirmations are my go-to and are hanging on my walls. I give myself a daily pep talk to keep me focused and these are just some of the simple, yet effective tools!

Remember why I was doing therapy or coaching and reflect on how well it was going, even when it was difficult, and be proud of myself for doing the work. Growth Mindset!

Everyone and I mean everyone, needs some sort of help from another, we don’t do life successfully on our own, humans are not built to function in that way.

                            Everyone one of us had a journey to take.

  • It starts by accepting that we have both mindsets.
  • Then we need to learn to recognize what triggers our fixed mindset.

Failures? Criticism? Deadlines? Disagreements?

  • And we come to understand what happens to us when our fixed-mindset “persona” is triggered.
  • Importantly, we can gradually learn to remain in a growth mindset place despite the triggers

 

Coaching is no different!

You’re reading this which means you would like to change an area in your life and need some assistance in doing so, bravo for you! Together we will have a conversation that will take you to new places in your life. Let me help you uncover the mindset needed for this journey.

 

Ann